I spent too much time blindly follow good-intentioned advice and not thinking for myself early on when dating online.

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It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.

This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).

If you continue to struggle writing your first emails or struggle with getting responses with a service like this, trying a service like e Harmony might be helpful. e Harmony operates in a different way where they control much of the early communication for you.

I have discussed the features of this service a lot on my site so I don’t want to cover all of that again here but I will point out that: , while I met my wife using I felt that it was e Harmony that really helped me become more comfortable with online dating.

You can learn more details on my thoughts on this service in my article on How e Harmony Works.

No matter what service you choose, I hope my advice here will help you with your first messages.

Based on my experience, I think the above are good guidelines to improve your odds of getting the conversation going.

So what do you include in this short, introductory email?

This advice may still be helpful for sites such as e Harmony or Chemistry.com, however these services guide the communication and there is less “emailing” early on.

Writing the online dating first email is the area where I made the biggest mistakes for the longest period of time when I was dating online.

With this type of profile, I always felt like simply asking them out on safe date in the first email is fine.