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This need although active is usually buried in unawareness and sex can be bartered for affection and attention from men who are attracted to her.In many instances, these efforts to procure the love that was lost lead instead to disappointment, low self-esteem, and further feelings of loss.When these lessons were not provided by either her father or her mother as a backup, a woman’s love-life ‘standards’ can be lower because of unresolved feelings of loss creating lower levels of self-esteem.
Once again, an emotionally mature mother who realizes her daughter’s need for information about men can compensate to a large extent for her father’s absence.
The lessons involve understanding who men are, how they think, what they value, what they respect, and how they commit themselves in love when attracted to a woman.
To a considerable extent, this feeling of loss can be relieved by the presence of an emotionally mature and loving mother who can wear two hats, meaning function in the role of both mother and father while dismantling her daughter’s feelings of self-blame for her father’s absence.
Other adult men in a young girl’s life become important as father figures when sanctioned by her mother.
A daughter’s attachment to her father is complicated by the fact of their opposite sex relationship.
In a healthy father-daughter relationship, a daughter feels nurtured by her father, and acknowledged as on her way to becoming a woman.
The worst part of all this is the misery it creates and re-creates largely due to the fact that the original feelings of grief were never resolved.
You can save a child a lot of unhappiness when loss and the need to grieve that loss are taken seriously.
Identifying with an unavailable father can occur in the form of picking unavailable lovers, or turning oneself into an unavailable lover or both.